The Real fights

[The following writing is from the diaries of a philosopher-friend-guide. Written during times of excruciating experiences, the writing is a testimonial to the man who grew to become a bearer of truth himself. As a tribute to our everlasting friendship, find below the article christened "The Real fights" ]

"We start always with fear... Fear of losing may be!!! But Start we must.. And in the life that we endure (Some have the luxury of living!) we have the luxury of making choices. Today I write as I summon my deepest self, my conscience, in the wake of a triumphant past and an uncertain future. Still holding firm to the things I hold dear, to the ones I love, while the inertia of my life plunging me ahead.

These are the "Real" fights... When you have to choose between love and giving up. When you have to choose between losing and giving up. Nobody is great. We only meet great challenges and live up to them. I've had my share...

I have loved till my brain reeled. Consumed by the dread of losing I ve cried... And an overwhelming sense of loss prevails today in me. God, perhaps has a reason. I probably could surrender to that thought. But I guess God does'nt owe me an explanation. What when a child is raped? What when a dying parent is met with utter contempt from their children and relegated to the confines of an old age home? What when a child is abandoned by his mother?

But I never failed to love...Never. We can love in that we are infinite. The more we love the greater we are! Its when you see a dog running as fast as he could just so that he didnt lose you that you come to understand... Its all I know or understand of life. Its what brings tears. A most beautiful expression of love!!!

These are the greatest lessons you would learn. When you learn to love,when you learn to forgive. This the highest plane.... Your intention of being good.

Well thats been my life,and this is going to be.....

The most fascinating animal in the world is- A brave man with no plan....
This is what I intend to be... I wish I could be in the wild and understand God's chimerical plans. Why should I have a purpose? I don't think God had one in making us... May be he had choice. Purpose I dont think... I would like to understand the way he made us and probably come to appreciate it. But come to think of it God is everyone's favorite pet!!! Me? I guess I have'nt made up my mind yet... I wish I had that field of infinite intelligence to comprehend. May be then I would'nt be as interested...

But this is what can be made most of life. Spending quality time with friends, finding someone whom you want to live with the rest of your life and holding on to her forever... 

Making a life and then giving it your all. "

-Rosh
[Roshan Dash]
22 Dec 2008

From the diary entries of 2002 - The trivial Man

[Written: 2002, Picked from the diary entries ]


It seems if you have money, are prosperous, have good health, and all that which you most sought after, you shall be happy.
 
Should I then infer that the wise saint never knew happiness?! That Buddha was an imbecile to give up his kingdom because he could not stand an other's pain; that Gandhi was insane to have walked half naked just because more than half his country men were so poorly clad?
 
Greatness comes from within, just as happiness does. He who finds eternal happiness is great, for he is not stimulated by what the world so intensely is amused by.
 
We are so trivial that it doesn’t occur to us if helping an unfortunate one, really gives us happiness or if spending a saving for the delicacies and luxuries that the carnal mind so lusts for. We are stimulated by the stimulating, infatuated by the infatuating, and tempted by the tempting.
 
I shall with the greatest of gratitude thank God for the wisdom he gave me through my experiences; no, I am not complacent, I am no where near perfection, for I am only experimenting with truth. But I feel I have the ability to examine both sides of a coin with care, and hence regret the least. Should I by any reason be the most ridiculed, the poorest in terms of this worldly possession, I shall still find happiness and marvel at man who exchanges heaven for earth.
 
I despise the blessings of this world. It is all worthless, fleeting, illusory, and deceptive, like the mirage. To quote Anton Chekhov:
 
'You may be proud, wise, and fine, but death will wipe you off the face of the earth as though you were no more than mice burrowing under the floor, and your posterity, your history, your immortal geniuses will burn or freeze together with the earthly globe.
 
Man has lost reason and taken the wrong path. He has taken lies for truth, and hideousness for beauty. You would marvel if, owing to strange events of some sorts, frogs and lizards suddenly grew on apple and orange trees instead of fruit, or if roses began to smell like sweating horse.'

 
I hence don’t want to understand man...


-Jesh
2002

From the diary entries of 2003 - God and a Man's pain

[ Written 2003; From the diary entries ]

Man, so finite, so trivial, so inappreciable, yet so encompassing.

God, you are great. For you made man so finite, yet made him one that could think. You made him find eternal happiness in his greatest despair. You are great for you gave him pain. Pain, that feeling, that suffering which makes man rediscover himself, that which gets him to speak to his conscience.

I know that to you everything is but equal. I understand that to you the Universe should be governed in accordance to certain laws, designed by your all-powerful mind, and that man is nothing but one speck of that infinite creativity of yours. But I realize you love all that exists and hence you shall bring the best; too hard for a creature of finite intelligence to ever comprehend.

But I stay unanswered. The ever-increasing labefaction of life continues…

In spite of understanding the fleeting man, I am forced, compelled to return to poverty, poverty of the mind, ignorance of reality, to the daily chores of dissatisfaction, to the trivial thoughts of mankind, to the unfaithful relationships, to the entangled so-called commitments; save my understanding I beg.

Back to pain, how shall I ever thank you for my sufferings, for they have made me strong? I though live in this world, seeming so ordinary, never being understood, never being heard, but growing every step amid my experiments with truth…

-Jesh
2003

From the diary entries of 2003 – Love

[ Written 2003 - From the diary entries ]



Leo Tolstoy once wrote, “All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”

I shall with my most conscientious frame of mind agree to this statement. Love: the ever so pure, so infinite, so profound, so powerful and yet the most misinterpreted.

Today life is so labefactioned; every aspect of reality, of truth, is misinterpreted, often resulting in ignorance. Love is the essence of life.

Man is no more but a slave of his senses, his carnal desires, that to the ordinary, love is no more than a sex related emotion that satisfies every lust.

So strong is true love that it takes nothing more for man to give up his futile life and understand its true essence and thus make it sublime. To me, a person who can love another can face all odds, can live selfless, and can die for an other’s sake. Love encompasses every other human feeling hence.









When you can love a person, find all happiness within him, wish for every happiness of his/hers, you become selfless. It makes you then know the true essence of life and the loved ones therein. And that’s what it takes to love mankind on a universal scale. Love can help you forgive and forget: the two factors that are so essential in today’s world.

I have done just one good thing in my life, to have fallen in love, selflessly.

Love has taught me the way to happiness. I know I have been far from successful in getting back the love I seek but I have grown so strong I can live all my life without ever making her mine, never finding love even in her words; still my love shall never die.

As the hymn says:

Only he
Who is smitten with the arrows of love,
Knows its power.


Yes, I too wish for a life with her, dream about things which we could do together, for I too am human, but my wisdom gives me the courage to withstand any other circumstance otherwise. So powerful is love…

Hence I walk along, grown and strong, in spirit amid my songs, and believe me, I find her every step, every moment, walking beside me; what else could I ask for? Physical reality may expound otherwise, but then my heart beats hard, exclaiming that she is mine…

God! Thank you for getting me smitten with the arrows of love! Thank you for thy sublime wisdom.

-Jesh

2003

My first blog

Hi friends...

This is my first blog here. I like this idea a lot:of being able to write down ones thoughts and even so more, the convenience of reaching out to the whole world without actually publishing your book!

I used to write as a kid. In fact that was when I got the passion for writing. All by my self, amidst my solitude, the only solace I used to find was the diary beside me wherein I could pen down everything from my understanding of the world around me. I must admit I learned most during those days of silent observation of how this world works and how individuals make their space and time out of what they are given.

Today I live a life which is far from satisfying. As a kid I had great faith in the freedom of thought and the strength of what I called 'Truth'. Truth I believed was eternal and like the laws of the universe, though intangible, was still something that never lacked its veracity. It, I thought, still gave us a sense of God and his ways! But, now as an adult I find people who say truth is just a perception.

Having given myself into many such thoughtless advocacies of today, I found myself getting more and more dissolved into the limitless frailties of modern lifestyle.

I take a break now to get back to my pristine self. To find time to think and react rather than just play by the tune of the piper everyday. The next few articles that I publish here are as old as from my writings of the summer of 2003, and some even older!

To start of with what better emotion than the interminable Love!!! Hope to see you guys through this journey of writing and learning! I intend to write extensively, but they would come much later when I am partially done with what I need to say about more human things!

Please excuse the next couple or more articles for their inadequacy or lack of linguistic grandiose; they were written by me a few years ago, still as a school/college going kid! But I would like to post them here as a tribute to my early passion for writing.